Simplifying Parenting [Part 7: Children’s Chores]

Simplifying Parenting [Part 7: Children’s Chores]

You probably already know this about me, but I’m one of those people who LOVES a list. I make lists for everything: shopping list, grocery list, meal plan list, to-do list, daily habit list, bucket list, household projects list, school assignment check list, daily/weekly/monthly cleaning list, family birthdays list, reading list…even writing this list of lists has proven quite enjoyable for me [don’t judge].

Well, here’s another list that is a life-saver for parents [or at least it is for me]: the children’s chore list.

FINALLY! The kids are old enough to help with some of the work around the house. Giving your kids chores empower them to take responsibility, makes them feel important…and they may be less likely to throw their clothes on the floor if they know they will have to pick them up. But most of all, you’ll get some much needed HELP!!

My kids don’t particularly love doing chores, but they do love the feeling of being an integral part of the family and contributing in a meaningful way [and the allowance is nice too].

How to get kids to do chores

In order to give our kids a little motivation and make chores more fun, we use a two reward system: 1) weekly allowance and 2) a chore chart.

The weekly allowance isn’t really a result of the chores. We give them their allowance whether they do their chores are not. But on the flip side, the chores are not optional either. Chores are how we all contribute to the family and home. [And goddam it, there is no reason why I should be the only one doing them around here!!! Can I get an Amen?!]

As for the chore chart, this is a trick that I myself know and love [but I also read about in Atomic Habits by James Clear]. Checking something off a list is REWARDING. It feels SO GOOD! This is ultimately why I am so obsessed with lists—it provides visible proof that I’m making progress.

So, I printed these adorable chore charts [thanks to Mique at 30days] for my kids and laminated them and hung them on the fridge so the kids can check off their chores each day.

You can download the printable for yourself from 30days here.

How old do kids have to be to start chores?

I don’t know if there is some child psychologist answer to this question, but I can tell you that my 2-[almost-3]-year-old can set the dinner table with napkins, silverware, and put everyone’s water bottles at their seat [in fact, she demands to do this chore and has literally stolen the job from her older sister].

So, I guess I’d say 2-years-old is a good time to start, though kids know how to pick up toys and put things away even younger than that.

There are plenty of lists out there on the interwebs that can provide age-appropriate chores. Just try some out and if needed, adjust the list! [That’s why I had these laminated, ya’ll]

If you want some ideas, here are my kids’ chore charts:

Evangeline, almost 8-years-old
Theo, 6-years-old
Jojo, 4-years-old

Important rules regarding lists

Lists must be flexible. I think this may be a contributing factor to why lists stress some people out and some other people totally hate them. Lists do not have to be written in stone. While this is true of all lists, it’s especially true for lists for your kids [even unspoken lists like the list of careers you want your kid to choose from]. Things will happen, days will get away from us, we’ll decide to walk to the ice cream shop instead of doing any chores, there will be melt-downs, freak-outs, and some days it won’t get done.

That’s no big deal. Kids are learning about responsibility. They can’t be expected to perform like an adult [even adults don’t perform perfectly…and yes I’m looking at everyone who has ever called into work “sick” because they just didn’t feel like working, myself included].

Lists need regular review and revision. In order to make sure that the chore lists are working for everyone, we review them in our weekly family meeting and make adjustments. [I’ll share more about our family meetings another time, but this is definitely something you should start, if you’re not doing it already.]

We make adjustments to the lists nearly every week [again, that’s why it’s laminated and written in wet-erase marker]. Sometimes we change chores just for some variety. And as the kids get older, we increase the difficulty of the chores.

Look, I’m no perfect parent. I’m not even a model parent. I wouldn’t even say I’m a great parent. But I am trying to be a good parent. I’m also trying to survive being a parent. So in these posts, I’m just sharing ideas that work for me and my family. I am certainly no expert.

Give them a try if you want, or share your own ideas.

👩‍👧‍👦👨‍👧‍👧

Karis

Simplifying Parenting [Part 6: Storing Childhood Mementos]

Simplifying Parenting [Part 6: Storing Childhood Mementos]

I recently decluttered the “craft closet,” which is used so frequently that it was becoming dangerous to open the closet door.

Before:

After:

WAAAAAY Better right?

I pride myself on being “minimal”…in all things EXCEPT craft supplies.

😁

What can I say? Art is super important to me and a full [albeit messy] craft closet is how I foster creativity with my kids.

But I’m not actually here to extols the virtues of decluttering. I wanted to talk about how I organize and store all of the mementos that my children accumulate.

You know what I’m talking about…the coloring page that they are SO proud of for actually coloring the whole thing, the first note where they wrote “I love mommy,” the spelling test with the hard earned 100%. Normally, I’m the first one to say NOT to hold on to sentimental junk – but some times I don’t listen to my own words. Sometimes I want to hang on to these mementos of my kid’s childhood.

Some of Evangeline’s mementos – most probably wouldn’t mean a lot to other people, but they are special to us and hold happy memories that I want to cherish.

I just finished reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, in which she makes it a goal to be a “storehouse of happy memories.” At one point she gets cute boxes to literally store the happy memories of her daughters. I’ve had my own version of her boxes for a few years now.

Back to the craft closet…

Besides all of the craft supplies, this closet also holds my kids’ memento drawers [the plastic drawers on the floor]. I use these drawers to organize the paperwork that my kids bring home from school and the many pieces of artwork that children create.

However, this collection goes through several rounds of “reductions” over time.

The Three Round Rule

Round 1 – I make the initial decision of what to keep immediately. Most coloring pages get recycled and a lot of the school papers, but occasionally there is a special drawing, creation, piece of art that I put away in their drawer. I also keep their graded papers and projects.

Round 2 – At the end of the school year, I go through everything in their drawer again and keep the most special. In a lot of cases [and in the face of the sheet quantity] a lot of the items have lost their value, so I feel fine recycling. Obviously things like school pictures, the class photo, and special creations move to the next round.

Round 3 – I really liked Gretchen Rubin’s ideas about boxes, so I’m working on acquiring four cute storage boxes [you know I HATE buying things] which I will use to store the special mementos for my kids. BUT I still plan to review the items that make it into the box every year and toss anything that doesn’t still hold special meaning. Over the years, time really does put some of these sentimental things into perspective and the items that really matter stand out.

When I married Brett, his mother gave us boxes and boxes of his *ahem* crap from his childhood. And we had to go through it and look at every kindergarten field day green ribbon, every plastic t-ball trophy, every grade school report card. Quite frankly, by the time you’re an adult, you don’t care about the majority of that stuff.

I had a few boxes of my own from childhood when I moved out of my parents house and I tossed most of it. But, of course, I’m glad I had the newspaper clippings about my speech competitions, my autographed photo with the President, and some of my favorite writing projects. But the rest was junk.

The three round rule is my attempt at doing the majority of the sorting for my kids so that they don’t someday inherit a basement full of crap to sort through. Maybe someday they will wonder, Where is that kindergarten cut out of the letter B that I loved so much?…but I highly doubt it.

What do you do with all of your kids’ mementos???

📝

Karis

[Nearly] Zero Waste Valentine’s Day Pencil Arrows

[Nearly] Zero Waste Valentine’s Day Pencil Arrows

Well, here we are again at Valentine’s Day, trying to give thoughtful, waste-free Valentines to my kids’ classmates.

When Evangeline was in preschool, we gave cuties wrapped in twine with a little “leaf” tag that said “You’re a cutie!”

[You can read my post about how to make these valentines here.]

Then, when Evangeline was in Kindergarten, we made coloring bookmarks with a crayon to pass out on Valentine’s Day.

[You can read my post about how to make these here.]

Last year, I homeschooled the kids and didn’t have to worry about passing out class Valentines – and I’m not sure whether anyone else did either since a lot of schools were doing distance learning because of COVID.

But now the kids are back in school – Evangeline in second grade and Theo in Kindergarten – so we’re making the obligatory school Valentines again.

My daughter adamantly refused to give cuties again [what can I say? It was worth a try] and she fought very hard for heart-shaped suckers, but I really hate giving out candy and dread all the plastic wrappers that will end up in the trash. [This is the unfortunate result of having an environmentalist/personal trainer for a mother.]

So, we agreed on pencils.

Cute, right?

I got the free printables from Perfectly Splendid [link here]. You have to check out all the awesome printables for Valentine’s Day that she has on her site, PositivelySplendid.com. [I also used her Bernie Sanders printable for a Valentine’s Card for my husband! Find them here. Too perfect!]

My mother-in-law was kind enough to print the hearts on card stock for me and then we got busy this morning cutting out the hearts, punching holes, and signing names.

Fair warning, my standard hole punch did not make a big enough hole for the pencils so I had to do some fancy punching to make them fit. But it still worked out fine.

Warning: There was some waste created in the making of these Valentines. Five plastic sleeves that the pencils came in ended up in the trash, but all the paper scraps were recycled and these pencils will hopefully get lots of use in the future.

Practical, [nearly] zero waste Valentines for the win!

Hope everyone enjoys the love fest tomorrow!

❤️🧡💛💚💙

Karis

A Salad a Day Keeps Vitamin Deficiency Away [and three healthy homemade dressing recipes]

A Salad a Day Keeps Vitamin Deficiency Away [and three healthy homemade dressing recipes]

My healthy goal for February is to serve a salad with every dinner.

It’s no secret that I am a lover of salads. I’ve posted many, many times about them. They are my favorite way to eat a lot of fresh, raw veggies.

Healthy Salad Dressings

I have been making my own salad dressings for years and I highly, HIGHLY recommend it. It is better for your health, better for your wallet, and allows you the freedom to customize a dressing that’s perfect for you. I usually mix the dressing right in my salad bowl, but sometimes I do make it ahead for when I’m taking a salad to dinner at a friend’s house.

Homemade Vinaigrette

To make, put equal parts olive oil and vinegar of choice in a jar with a lid. Add salt and pepper to taste, and a little bit of dijon [or any kind] mustard. Then shake to combine.

This dressing is customizable in a million different ways by using different vinegars, adding different spices/herbs, and adding lemon [or other citrus] juice.

Healthier Homemade Ranch

Like pretty much all kids, my kids like ranch. They like the vinaigrettes that I make too, but ranch is their favorite. I make my own healthier version by mixing the following seasonings into plain Greek yogurt: parsley, garlic, onion, dill, chives, salt and pepper. Use equal amounts parsley, garlic and onion. About half the amount of dill. Even less chives [this can be omitted altogether]. Then salt and pepper to taste.

Or you can just buy the ranch dip package at the store – but why when you have everything you need in your cupboard already???

Vegan Green Goddess Dressing

This is a recipe that I got from America’s Test Kitchen, The Complete Plant Based Cookbook, but of course I’ve modified it.

I basically soak a cup of raw cashews in hot water for 30 minutes, then blend with 3/4 cup water, fresh lemon juice from one lemon, garlic powder, onion powder, parsley flakes, salt, pepper [and whatever other seasonings I feel like] until smooth. I add water if it’s too thick.

Yum 😋

So far this month, we’ve had side salads, taco salad, and “salad pizza” [which is just salad on top of my homemade pizza dough – more like a flatbread]. I’ve even had a “smoothie salad” – don’t ask. And my kids keep asking me for their favorite: chickpea salad.

[chickpeas, arugula, evoo, lemon juice, smoked paprika, and sliced kalamata olives]

Looking forward to this month of raw veggie salads!

🥗 🥗 🥗

Karis

[Nearly] Zero Waste Kitchen: Whole Wheat Sandwich Bread

[Nearly] Zero Waste Kitchen: Whole Wheat Sandwich Bread

For the month of January, I’ve been avoiding added sugar, which is a LOT harder than it may sound. Though I thought I already knew most of the culprits hiding sugar, I have discovered a few more places that I was unaware of.

Sneaky Sugars

For instance, sriracha has sugar. That might be common knowledge for people who eat sriracha regularly. I just thought it was like any other hot sauce, until I tasted it. It was so sweet that I had to check the label.

Sure enough – sugar is the second ingredient.

Though, the real conundrum is how they manage to put “0g added sugar” on the nutrition label…????

🤷‍♀️

I don’t know what that’s about, but I decided not to take any chances and switched back to my regular hot sauce [Tapatio, at the moment] which has no sugar.

I also happened to be in the market for a new multivitamin and I thought I would give gummies a try [they are so dang popular after all], but I decided against it when I realized that they have added sugar.

These are the gummy vitamins that my kids take every day. They prefer gummies for obvious reasons [and truthfully, the sugar content is nominal], but they also like Flintstone chewable vitamins, and these don’t contain any sugar.

Sugar in Bread

By far the sneakiest place to find added sugar is in bread. It is very challenging to find bread in the grocery store bread aisle that doesn’t contain any sugar. It’s not impossible, of course, so if you really want to buy your bread, I recommend looking in the bakery for freshly baked loafs that only have the four necessary ingredients: flour, yeast, salt, water.

Obviously, if you want a sweet bread [such as zucchini bread] or even an enriched bread [such as brioche], then you can expect to find sugar in the ingredient list – but for every day, run-of-the mill sandwich bread and buns, sugar is unnecessary.

So, I’ve been making my own for years.

It all began when I experimented with giving up processed foods for a month. I was pretty new to baking at the time, but I had to find a bread recipe that I could actually make that would work for sandwiches – that was also 100% whole wheat. It took me quite a while to find one that worked for me, but now I’ve been using the same recipe for the past five years to make everyday bread for my family.

The base recipe is from An Oregon Cottage [you can find the recipe here]. Over the years, I’ve altered the recipe to suit my needs — namely removing the honey and swapping two cups of whole wheat flour for bread flour, which makes a slightly fluffier bread.

So, here is the recipe that I use [and it’s in my preferred format which is with ingredients listed in bold in the instructions].

Whole Wheat Bread Recipe

This recipe makes two loaves and takes me 2 hours to make [1hr and 20 minutes of that is rise time], but I’ve been making it every week for years, so maybe plan on 2.5 hours.

1. Put 2 1/2 cups warm water [about 110°, but don’t stress it – just not so hot it can burn you] in a large mixing bowl. Sprinkle 1 1/2 tablespoons active dry yeast over the water. Add 2 cups bread flour. Mix until incorporated. Wait 10-20 minutes [the mixture should rise and get foamy on top].

Before 20 minutes
After 20 minutes.

2. Add 1/3 cup olive oil [or any neutral oil], 4 cups whole wheat flour, and 2 1/2 teaspoons salt. Stir until it becomes too thick, then turn out onto a floured surface and knead by hand until smooth, adding additional flour as needed to keep it from being too sticky.

My kids love to get it on the kneading.

3. Divide dough in half. Take one half and flatten, then roll up and pinch together. Curl up ends and pinch together. Place seam side down in oiled bread pan. Repeat with other half of dough.

4. Cover with a towel and let rise for one hour [preferably in a warm place].

Before the rise
After rise

5. Preheat oven to 350°. Bake for 40-45 minutes.

And voila! Enjoy that freshly baked bread smell! Mmm…

🍞 🍞 🍞

Karis

Teaching my kids about Martin Luther King Jr.

Teaching my kids about Martin Luther King Jr.

Every year on Martin Luther King Jr. Day, the kids and I celebrate by reading some good books on the topics of civil rights, social justice, and racism. I always select library books that contain a lot of diversity and represent a wide range of peoples and cultures. However, on MLK Day, we really take time to talk about prejudice in the past and present and learn more about Martin Luther King Jr.

This year, we went to our local library [in our small town in southern Illinois] and checked out every single book they had on Dr. King and the civil rights movement – a whopping total of 5 books.

We read these books together [I summarized a few since my kids are only 7, 5, 4, and 2]. The picture book, My Brother Martin by Christine King Farris, is big and beautiful and a really nice way for kids to relate to Martin Luther King Jr.

We also watched an episode of Sesame Street about Martin Luther King Jr Day, in which all the Sesame Street characters contributed to a “peace tree” by choosing a way they promise to promote peace and equality all year long. I thought this was a great idea and [if I remember], I’m going to make a peace tree with my kids next year.

When I saw how few books our library has for kids about the civil rights movement and it’s leaders, I decided to purchase some new books to donate.

Public libraries are a source of free education for a community and if I want them to carry more books with diversity and social justice themes, I might as well start by supplying some myself. It’s a small thing to do, but hopefully these books will impact little readers in years to come.

❤️

Karis

No Added Sugar [and my family vacation recap]

No Added Sugar [and my family vacation recap]

This year, I’m considering setting a health-related goal for each month. I haven’t totally committed myself to this yet because…well, it would be tough. But I’ve been trying to tackle my COVID-induced bad habits for the past year with very little success. So I think having one new habit to focus on each month will be helpful.

Starting in January [or right now], I’m doing a month of no added sugar. I’ve actually done this before, many years ago, after reading Year of No Sugar by Eve O. Schaub.

Last time, I was astounded by two things:

1. Sugar is in everything. I found it hiding everywhere – even the most savory of foods like breads, sauces, frozen dinners, peanut butter, chips, snacks, and nearly every other processed food.

“There are many shortcuts in life, but perhaps none that come free of consequences. Sugar is one of those things we have manipulated into giving us lots of shortcuts: to better taste, to more convenience, to ever-higher food industry profits. But at what costs? As the old saying goes, if you don’t have your health, you don’t have anything.”

Eve O. Schaub, Year Of No Sugar

2. Going without added sugar for a period of time allowed me to really taste and enjoy the natural sugar found in produce like carrots and peppers.

So I’m doing it again. In particular, I’m hoping that this will help me break my late night candy-consumption habit.

🤞

I’ll let you know how it goes.

I didn’t start the first of January because my family took a vacation to Florida where we stayed in a private rented home with my parents and sister’s family. We enjoyed the sunshine, went to the park, walked through the zoo, and took our kids on the obligatory visit to Disney World.

Brett and I also had a really fun evening to ourselves in Orlando where we went to the Museum of Illusions, rode the Ferris wheel at ICON park, had dinner at the Sugar Factory, and then rode the world’s [almost] tallest swings.

Love him. ❤️

Anyway, my classes started for the spring semester the day after we got back home, so it’s right back to reality.

I hope you enjoy the long weekend and the MLK holiday [for those in the US]. I haven’t decided yet how we will celebrate it in my home, but it’s more than just a day off work/school. It’s a day to reflect on the life and work of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr and the continuing struggle for justice and equality for people of color. I’ll probably get some good books from the library and spend time talking to my kids about our responsibilities to ensure the fair and equal treatment of all people.

Several years ago, we got these excellent books from the library to read about Dr. King and the civil rights movement. I highly recommend them for anyone with kids.

Are you doing anything to celebrate?

❤️

Karis

New Years Resolution Time [my favorite!]

New Years Resolution Time [my favorite!]

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I LOVE setting resolutions for the new year. I know, I know. Everyone else is telling you that resolutions never work and you should set small goals throughout the year and yadda yadda.

Well, I don’t really know what to tell you other than that they work for me! I’m a super goal-oriented person, so when I “resolve” to do something, I typically get it done.

Want proof?

In 2018, I resolved to learn to bake. Brett and I had weekly “bake-offs” and now I bake all of our bread from scratch and I have developed a reputation among friends and family as a baker. [I’m hoping for title of “bread lady” some day.]

In 2019, I resolved to learn to knit. That year, I hand-knitted a few blankets for Brett’s grandmothers. Then the next year, I knitted a coffee cozy. This year I knitted four scarves, one coffee cozy, and a cat toy for Christmas presents. Next up, I’m planning to knit hats, socks, mittens, dishcloths, and scrubbies.

In 2020, I resolved to learn Spanish. I have now been studying Spanish on Duolingo every day for two years. No sé todo, pero yo sé más que hací hace dos años. [If you want to join me on Duolingo, my profile name is KarisCarlson. Vamos a ser amigas!]

Also, in 2020, I resolved to volunteer to donate my kidney. Took an extra year, but I got it done.

Last year, my resolutions were simpler. I just wanted to focus on my family and my health. I spent a lot of quality time with each of my kids one-on-one. I walked my dogs a lot. I read a ton of books about health, food, and nutrition. And we spent the entire year as vegans, which really taught me to prioritize plant-based foods for my family, rather than just on my own plate.

My goal to only drink water for a year lasted until mid October when I got super sick and started drinking vitamin C packets in orange juice because I felt like my life depended on it….and, well, I never really got back on the water-only wagon.

The water-only goal was also about raising awareness about the water crisis, and so we funded a well in Uganda to provide clean water to a community that didn’t have access before. That’s pretty cool.

All in all, 2021 was a pretty good year – despite the craziness going on in the world.

So now for my 2022 goals…

Goal #1: In the past, I’ve set a series of goals related to different parts of my life – physical goals, family goals, travel goals, reading goals, etc. But my favorite goals always end up being my new skills. So this year [though I had really debated choosing rock climbing or wood turning], I’ve decided my new skill to learn will be photography. I have a nice camera and I need to learn how to use it! It would be soooo helpful to take my own family photos like my friend, a self-taught photographer, does.

Goal #2: Instead of having aggressive physical goals like running a marathon, this year, my goal is to fully recover from my kidney donation and get back to running. Not running fast. Not running far. Just back to running. Hopefully I can accomplish this sooner rather than later, but they say it can take 6 months to a year to be fully back to normal after losing an organ, so this goal is really more about not going too fast. I’m going to have to exercise extreme strength of will to slow down, take time, and give my body some grace.

Goal #3: Somewhere along the way I had made a previous resolution to get back into school for nursing. And I have finally started. My goal for this year is to [🤞] finish up my prerequisites and get accepted into an accelerated Masters of Nursing program. I’m still quite terrified about this course my life is taking – scared of the financial cost of returning to school, scared of the time it will take away from my kids, scared I’ll fail… But you know what they say:

“If your dreams don’t scare you, they aren’t big enough.”

2021 might not have been the year we all hoped for, but that doesn’t mean that 2022 can’t be. I hope you have a safe, healthy, and intentional year!

❤️

Karis

Merry Christmas from the Carlsons!

Merry Christmas from the Carlsons!

Just wanted to pop in to wish everyone a very merry Christmas! We had a beautiful day sharing gifts with our loved ones and celebrating our many blessings. I hope that you did too. No matter what the day brought, remember that you are important, you are loved, and you are worthy of all the good things.

Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night!

🎄 🎄 🎄

Karis

Simplifying Parenting [Part 5: Kids Clothing]

Simplifying Parenting [Part 5: Kids Clothing]

When it comes to my own wardrobe, I’m a minimalist, fitting all of my clothing into three small drawers that fit into my closet [plus some hanging clothes that I rarely wear but keep for “just in case purposes” such as a black dress for funerals]. A few years back when I went through all of my clothes and purged everything I didn’t need or love, I found the whole process to be immensely gratifying. And, I’m pleased to report, that simplifying my kids’ clothes has every bit as satisfying.

Principle #1: Only clothes that are needed.

How do you know how much clothes your child will need? First determine how often you do laundry. I dedicate one day per week to laundry. Which means my kids need seven days worth of clothes [and maybe a few extras for accidents or emergencies]. Since a lot of our clothes are hand-me-downs, we do end up with extras of some things, but I make it a point to avoid getting extra clothes we don’t need.

For example, when I switched my son’s wardrobe over to warmer clothes, I found he needed more long-sleeved shirts and a few more pairs of pants for the winter. Brett found someone selling a used set of clothes — seven pairs of pants, two t-shirts, one sweat pant outfit — all for $15. But we didn’t need most of it, so we paid $8 for two pairs of pants and the sweat pant set. I found three long-sleeved shirts at a resale shop, and that was all that he needed. Theo is now all set for the winter.

Theo’s clothes [both summer and winter] all fit in two drawers in the dresser that he shares with Jojo.

Principle #2: Only clothes that are used…for the most part.

This is so important to me since I have learned about the clothing industry and how it continues to wreak havoc on our planet and hurt economies and take advantage of workers around the world. So, as a principle, we always get our clothes used, unless of course there are certain items that we can’t find used. Underwear is one of those things, so I buy my underwear from Boody and I get my kids underwear from Pact — both ethical, sustainable brands that I love to support.

I mean, really, it is criminal that kids clothing gets worn for a season and then tossed. We need to keep clothes in circulation for as long as possible since each item of clothing represents costly natural resources and a lot of labor. I wouldn’t even care if used clothes cost more, but, of course, buying used is cheaper which makes it a win-win. And we find really nice stuff used!

Evangeline’s drawer of adorable hand-me-down and used clothes for winter.

We like to use Facebook marketplace [Brett handles that since I am not on Fb] or OfferUp or nearby consignment shops and even resale stores like Goodwill and Salvation Army to find used clothing. In our small town we have a resale shop where I have found new tennis shoes for Theo, an Express undershirt for Brett, and jeans for Evangeline. [I also found a beautiful North Face sweater that I really wanted, but didn’t need, so I passed on it. Hopefully someone who needs it finds that treasure.]

Principle #3: Only clothes to play in.

Two of my daughters are wearing dresses [with shorts for modesty purposes] as they dig for fossils in the dinosaur museum.

It’s a bit of a pet-peeve of mine how parents like to dress up their children. All of their life experiences until the first grade revolve around play, so they should be dressed for play. It makes absolutely no sense to me to put a little kid into dressy clothing and then try to keep that child from playing in it or getting it dirty. Let the kids be kids for goodness sake! Even at church, Christmas dinner, and weddings, kids should be dressed in play clothes.

The other problem with dressing up kids is that it requires you to keep an entirely separate set of clothes. Your kid will need a full wardrobe of play clothes and a full set of dress clothes. Why on earth?

We just keep one type of clothing for the kids: play clothing. They can wear it on vacation, on a hike, to church, to school and to play in the backyard. My daughters each have some dresses that they love and these are not special occasion dresses. Their dresses get as much use as the rest of their clothes. Which is fine. They like to wear frilly pretty clothes, and I expect these items to get throughly played in, dirty, messy, and worn out.

Principle #4: Only clothes they love.

In this Easter picture, my middle daughter is wearing her pajamas. Still cute!

I let my kids dress themselves. I have since each of them were three and old enough to open a drawer and pull out an outfit for the day. This relieves me of the stress of fighting with my kids about what to wear and allows them to choose clothes that they love and that express their unique personalities.

It seems to me that, as parents, we want our kids to look like mini fashion models because it improves our own image. I don’t think the kids care – nor should they! So what if they want to wear plaid with polka-dots? Who really cares?

I definitely don’t want to send the message to my kids that what they wear matters, that they need to dress a certain way to “fit in” or be accepted, that love is based on how someone looks. These messages are everywhere in our society, but I don’t want them in my home. I also don’t want to teach my kids to conform to fashion trends. Instead, I’d rather teach them to wear what is practical, comfortable and something they love – something that shows the world a piece of themselves rather than just a reflection of everyone else.

I’m having a hard time finding pictures of my kids in unusual outfits – they usually dress so cute! No one would guess they always choose their own clothes.

Over the years, with absolutely no help from me, my oldest daughter [now 7] has figured out her own way of dressing that is unique and absolutely adorable. I wouldn’t change anything about her style.

[I once wrote an essay for Parents Magazine about this very topic, which they published in 2018. You can read it here.]

Don’t be afraid to pare down the kids’ clothing! It feels GREAT!

👚 👖 👕

Karis