Lessons in Motherhood and Veganism [Do I feed my kids meat?]

Lessons in Motherhood and Veganism [Do I feed my kids meat?]

Now that I’m a vegan, I have to face my own inconsistencies about how I feed my kids.

The Conundrum

For years I was a moderate vegan or “vegan before six,” and I never changed my kids diet. We have always eaten a lot of vegetables, fruits, nuts and legumes anyway. But my kids also got yogurt, cottage cheese, eggs, chicken nuggets, burgers, ice cream and even the occasional macaroni and cheese. It didn’t seem so bad.

Now, however, I’m fully vegan because of my own personal convictions about the healthful, ethical and environmental necessity of a fully plant-based diet – so how can I, with a clear conscience, feed my kids animal products?

[Side note to clarify my statement above: I believe it is unhealthy to eat meat in the large quantities that we do in America, and I believe that it is unethical because our demand for large quantities of cheap meat has caused significant suffering for the animals we consume, and I believe that meat and animal products are the leading cause of damage to our planet. I am not saying that any meat at any time ever is wrong or unhealthy, but rather that in this current time with our current systems in place and our current ecosystems at stake, it is best – even necessary – to be vegan. I wrote in more depth about my reasons for becoming vegan in my post Why I’m Going Vegan [and why you should too]]

I obviously want my kids to be healthy. In fact, I care even more about their health than my own [hence why I hide the junk food for after they are in bed…and maybe partly so I don’t have to share…], so if I believe that Veganism is the healthiest and most ethical way of eating, am I wrong for feeding my kids the traditional American diet of Mac and cheese, chicken nuggets, and go-gurt?

But on the other hand, is it right of me to force them into a vegan lifestyle [purely by omission of all animal products]? Will they feel like they are “missing out”? Will they resent me?

But then again, is it right to raise them to be carnivores? Will they later ask me why I forced them to eat poor butchered animals? Will they resent me?

Do you see my dilemma?!?

Reflecting on this made me think about my own upbringing. I was raised in an omnivorous [mostly carnivorous] family and no one bothered to ask me whether I wanted to eat animals or drink their fluid secretions or not. I was given cows milk from the moment I stopped nursing until…well, milk was a big staple in my childhood home. We consumed at least a gallon per week. Meat was the main component of every meal and ice cream was the dessert of choice after every meal.

So basically, we ate like typical Americans.

And I’m not mad at my parents in the least for feeding me animals. They fed me and I am immensely grateful. But now that I have a choice, I choose not to eat animals, which is different than my family, my partner’s family, and, quite frankly, every other human being I know on the planet […except one coworker once].

Maybe that’s what’s so tough about choosing veganism for my family – it is different, and different is a little scary. Honestly, I don’t mind making choices for myself that go against the grain [I rather enjoy it, in fact], but it’s harder to make those choices for my kids, knowing that my choices will greatly influence their worldviews and their lifelong habits. Even if I believe it’s the best thing to do, I know that it won’t always be received well. [So help me, if I had a dollar for every time someone asked me how I get enough protein…] I know that my kids will eventually realize that they are different and I don’t want to force them to be outsiders.

The Crux

As parents, we make a lot of choices for our kids. I, personally, make a lot of controversial and unpopular choices for my kids [at least in my circles]. So maybe choosing to feed them only plant-based foods will not be any different than my decision to, say, not take them to church or not hit [aka “spank”] them or not circumcise my son or any of the other ways that we choose to do things differently than other families.

What is most important to me is that the choices I make for my kids are intentional, not merely the result of “going with the flow,” not just doing it because everyone else does or because that’s how it’s always been done, and not eating without considering why and where and how and how much and to what end.

I’ve come to discover that eating, like everything else in life, is a moral choice. And what I feed my kids is an even greater moral responsibility.

The Conclusion

So, I am going to switch my family to a vegan diet when we are at home. I am not going to be the meat nazi at restaurants or the rude guests at dinner parties, I promise.

I am going to model healthy eating habits, including not binging on junk food, not snacking late at night, not starving myself, and not eating animal products. I am not going to force my kids to become vegans nor discourage them from eating a wide variety of foods.

I am going to make vegan food delicious and exciting by trying all the recipes and being creative. I am not going to be heartbroken if my kids don’t love being vegan and choose a carnivorous lifestyle for themselves.

I am going to be flexible and course-correct if this plan doesn’t serve my family best and I am not going to be upset about it.

Anyone else rethinking how they feed their kids????

🌱 🌱 🌱

Karis

Only Drink Water for a Year [and other 2021 resolutions]

Only Drink Water for a Year [and other 2021 resolutions]

As we all know, 2020 was a crazy year due to Covid-19, so two of my top goals couldn’t happen [travel out of the country and run a marathon], but I’m choosing to focus on all the things I DID accomplish as a result of my resolutions last year…

I have been studying Spanish every day for 353 days on Duolingo, I switched to buying milk in glass bottles, I swapped my plastic dish brushes for sustainable [and beautiful] bamboo, I got a mealtime routine down for the family, I signed up [and was approved] for kidney donation, I volunteered 24+ hours at my local food bank, and I donated $20k to organizations that are helping vulnerable children all over the world, and I began sponsoring a third child through Plan International.

So resolution-wise, it was a pretty good year.

Since it doesn’t appear that Covid is going away anytime soon, I have decided to really scale back my resolution list this year. In 2021, I want to focus on my family, my health and my efforts to end the water crisis.

That’s it. Just three things.

Of course, I have sub points within each of those things…and maybe some bullet points under each sub point. [What can I say? I’m goal-oriented!]

My Family

First, Brett and I have decided to start spending intentional one-on-one time with each of our kids. Since we have four kids and they are all close in age, it’s easy to always group them altogether, or allow some siblings to receive more attention. All of that is totally normal, but I want each of my kids [especially want my middle kids who are quieter and more emotive] to have my undivided attention at times.

The plan is to take turns enjoying special one-on-one time with one kid a week. That’s as far as I’ve planned at the moment.

Second, I am going to dedicate more time to walking my dog. Our new yard is not fenced in so she doesn’t have the space or freedom she used to enjoy, so she really needs regular exercise – and I need to get out of the house every day, for my sanity’s sake.

Third, I want to improve the health of my family by switching to mostly vegan but 100% vegetarian meals in our home. I don’t eat animal products in part because I am thoroughly convinced that they are not good for us [at least not in the quantities we eat them] and because I believe that the morality of our current meat industry is sketchy at the very best. And I’ve come to realize that if I won’t eat meat because of health and ethical issues, then I certainly can’t feel good about feeding them to my kids.

Now don’t go off on me just yet. I will write about this internal [and external] struggle I’ve been dealing with in a post later on to fully explain myself.

[As a side note, I – with the help of Darin Olien’s book SuperLife – have convinced Brett to eat vegetarian/vegan. This is a HUGE win and required quite a bit of coaxing and maybe some bribing but really allows me to change the eating habits of our entire family now that he is on board.]

My Health

As a health and fitness fanatic, healthy goals are always on the list – usually things like improve flexibility and run a marathon. This year, I want to tackle healthy eating. I am generally a very healthy eater, and now I’m also a relatively new vegan; however, I still tend to be an emotional eater and a late night snacker [even tho I’m snacking on healthy foods, it’s still a bad habit]. These two things have to stop. So my first order of business is to get a handle on these bad eating habits.

Second, I’m going to do more research on healthy eating. I want to read several books on nutrition that have been on my list for a while and research controversial health topics like organic produce and current trending diets [keto anyone?]. I’m also going to be studying the ethics of what we eat. I spent the last few years realizing that what I spend my money on is a moral issue, and what clothing I wear is a moral issue, and what I put in the trash is a moral issue, and now I realize that what I eat also has moral and ethical implications.

Third, I’m not going to drink anything but water for one year. Truthfully, I don’t usually drink a whole lot of other beverages – just a few cups of coffee every morning and mimosas on holiday mornings and a glass of wine on the weekends and sparkling waters when visiting friends and an occasional cocktail on dates with Brett – so this should be a breeze.

😬

But I’m excited to see what it does to my health. After only a few days I can already tell that I am much more hydrated.

My reason for this water only year is not just for my health…which brings me to my last resolution for the year.

Ending the Water Crisis

One of the most impactful quotes I read last year was from Peter Singer’s book, The Life You Can Save, which says:

“If you are paying for something to drink when safe drinking water comes out of the tap, you have money to spend on things you don’t really need.”

I wonder how many times in my life I said I couldn’t afford to give money to a cause, while freely spending money on beverages that I don’t need [and are bad for my health to boot!].

So, this year, I’m only drinking water. Not only that, I’m only drinking free water. This water bottle is basically my new best friend. And all the money I save will go to help fund water projects around the world for the 700+ million people who don’t have access to clean water [through Charity:Water].

I’m also going to be researching water waste and trying to waste less water in my home by changing some of my habits [cutting back the shower time, running the washers less, catching rainwater for watering plants, etc].

Assuming we don’t have a repeat of 2020, this list seems totally doable [I’m going to go knock on wood].

I hope you all set goals for the year or at least are putting last year behind you and looking ahead with positivity! [Just don’t watch the news…]

I’m a week late, but Happy New Year!

🥳🥳🥳

Karis

November Shopping Audit [and settling into our new home]

November Shopping Audit [and settling into our new home]

Well, due to a sudden change in Brett’s training schedule, we moved early!

Brett flew home from training in Florida on a Thursday and by Friday night we had packed everything we needed [or at least everything we needed that would fit into our two vehicles] and moved our family of six [plus Daisy the dog and Patty the python] to our new house six hours south. AND that same evening, we put our house back on the market and left it ready for showings to start Saturday morning.

What We Bought

Moving without all our belongings has been …challenging, but we haven’t bought anything to replace what we left behind other than a diaper sprayer [$30.00]. We have, though, borrowed quite a bit for the kitchen from my in-laws. I am so grateful that they are close by and so generous to us!

We did, however, have to set ourselves up with a new composter and I bought a countertop container as well [$110.00] – I’ll be introducing everyone to these zero waste beauties at a later date.

The rest of our expenditures for the month were mostly eco-friendly necessities like bamboo scrub brushes [$51.81], bar shampoo [$15.99], a cloth shower curtain liner [$10.99], a used stainless steel tea kettle [$50.00], and reusable cloth gift bags and utensil wraps a friend made.

Then there were the not-necessarily-eco-friendly necessities: ink cartridges for the printer [$16.70] and furnace filters [$33.00].

And, finally, the stuff we feel is necessary because we live in a wealthy, privileged society: headbands for Brett [$12.90], headphones for Brett [$42.99], and water bottle with alkaline filters – a surprise from Brett [$50.00].

[I blame a lot of our spending on Brett, which is not without warrant and he’s a perfect scapegoat because he doesn’t read my blog; however, I fully admit that my $50.00 tea kettle was a total splurge on my part, used one not.]

Ain’t she a beaut tho?!

Happy December!

Now that we will have reliable income for the first full month since March, we are getting back to the budget [I know I’ve been saying that for months, but for real this time!]. Of course, December is the hardest time to stick to a budget. Does anyone stick to their budget in December???

As with every year, I am trying to focus my family on all the joys that money cant buy, so we are once again doing our “25 Days of Christmas Activities” which have already begun with making our countdown-to-Christmas paper chains and coloring Christmas pictures to send in our Christmas cards.

Beyond that, we are just slowly adapting to small town life and this new house, which is not at all what we would have chosen, but is what the universe has provided and we are grateful.

Mi casa nueva

Home sweet home.

🏡 🏡 🏡

Karis

October Shopping Audit [and WE’RE MOVING! – for real this time]

October Shopping Audit [and WE’RE MOVING! – for real this time]

In the beginning of 2020 we were getting ready to move to downtown Chicago because of Brett’s new job with the Chicago Cubs. Then came the pandemic, shut downs, layoffs, unemployment, murders, protests, presidential campaigns, homeschooling, virtual marathons, two new jobs for me and a really great job offer for Brett and, between the two of us, lots and LOTS of job interviews…

And here we are.

We have finally made it into the final stretch of 2020 and we are once again planning to move for Brett’s [new] new job. This time, however, we aren’t moving to the city. Quite the opposite. We are moving to southern Illinois, to a small farming town with a population of 5,500.

This is going to take some getting used to…

I’ve always lived in suburbs, but my heart has always been in the city. I like the idea of living in the country, but there are some big downsides to living in a small town. For instance, I’m going to have to figure out how to recycle in a town that doesn’t have recycling pickup.

😳

Also, I’m going to have to drive forty-five minutes to the closest bulk store.

😩

AND everyone in the town voted for Trump!!!!

😱

[Well, I do actually know of one democrat in the town, but as she said, “We are few and far between.”]

Oh man.

But there are up-sides to the small town too. My in-laws will be a mile away. [That may not sound great to some people, but I love my in-laws!] The living is cheap. The pace is slow. The people are friendly. The vegetables are fresh and the corn is a-plenty! Also, they act like covid doesn’t exist down there – probably because it pretty much doesn’t.

So before I get into our shopping last month, I wanted to give you a heads up that this blog is heading south and I’m going to be basically starting from scratch on the whole zero waste thing.

Now, let’s get to the point.

What we bought

Well, this past month was our absolute worst when it comes to spending, but our issue wasn’t buying stuff – it was buying food.

So, I’ve got to focus on getting that under control going forward.

Car expenses

We spent $51.38 on car parts so we could change a headlight bulb and solve an emissions problem.

Household expenses

I bought new castile soap for making dish soap which cost $13.80 for six bars. We also spent $139.32 for the materials to replace our second bathroom floor before we sell the house [which, unfortunately, had to be done]. Brett did all the work himself, so this was a savings for sure.

Isn’t that pretty?!

Homeschooling expenses

I also spent $65.50 on school supplies like a rock collection and geodes for our unit on the rock cycle [definitely wasn’t necessary, so I chalk that up to a moment of weakness].

Totally worth the money, just for this adorable photo!

Clothing/Personal expenses

Brett bought me some clothes for $115 as a “surprise” [which is what he calls spending money on me without telling me because he knows I won’t approve but will be guilted into accepting]. It is actually very comfy, ethical and sustainable underwear, bras and yoga pants, so I guess overall he did good. I bought a meLuna menstrual cup for $30.40 because the one I have just ain’t working for me anymore. [I plan to review this zero waste menstrual solution eventually.]

Miscellaneous Expenses

Brett paid $31.00 for a new “real ID” which will be mandatory for flying next year. I picked up heavy duty packing tape for $8.99 – for the obvious reason. And we spent $33.00 on firewood on our camping trip.

[The beer bottle came with the fire pit… 🤷‍♀️]

Our final big expense [which was actually a service rather than a product and therefore doesn’t typically count] was $500 for family photos.

Since we are moving, I had to have the photos in the woods behind our house which we absolutely ADORE and I will miss so, so much.

So that was our spending for October.

I mean, it could have been worse…

Instead of buying used Halloween costumes as I typically do [because Halloween is my FAVORITE HOLIDAY EVER!], we just let the kids pick from the dress up box.

What a cute little lion! 🥰

We also gave away A TON of stuff. The moment we made the decision to move, I went through closets and clothes piles and random clutter and CLEANED HOUSE, literally and figuratively. It was the kind of fun that only I enjoy.

Anyway, I’m looking forward to new adventures ahead for our family! I’ll keep you posted!

🧳 🧳 🧳

Karis

Simplifying Mealtime

Simplifying Mealtime

Mealtimes in our home have always been casual and chaotic, with Brett and I basically eating while standing over the kids – trying to keep them in their seats while dishing out seconds from the stove. We have always made dinner as a family a priority, but, I have to admit, we haven’t done it very successfully.

A few months ago, I read Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne and Lisa M. Ross, which offered great advice for how to simplify the lives of over-scheduled and overstimulated kids. One of the big takeaways for me was the importance of establishing daily, family routines – such as mealtimes. So, I decided to improve this part of our family’s schedule by adding some structure.

  1. We Set the table. Believe it or not, we never used to actually “set the table” — unless of course, we had guests over. Brett and I would make the plates for the kids at the counter and serve them at their seats. Now, Theo’s daily chore is to set the table, complete with cloth napkins, drinks, and silverware.
  2. We wait for everyone to be seated. Most of the time, Brett and I wouldn’t even sit down to eat unless one of us was feeding the baby. Brett and I still make all the plates at the counter, but we bring them all over to the table and wait for everyone to be seated and ready to eat before we begin.
  3. We don’t have toys or electronics at the table. At this point, this “rule” is more for Brett and I than the kids, but I wanted to set the precedent early AND lead by example. Someday, I won’t want my kids on their phones during family dinner, so I shouldn’t have my phone at the table either.
  4. We talk. Every night, we go around the table and share our favorite part of the day. Sometimes we ask additional questions like “if you could be any fruit, what would you be?” and silly things like that. As the kids grow older, I hope we are able to keep having dinner discussions. We also say thank you. I usually ask the kids “Who can we thank for this meal?” and they thank whoever made it [lately it’s been Brett], and the farmers who grew it and the grocery store employee that sold it and the animal they are eating [if they are eating an animal, since Eva and I don’t eat meat]. This replaces the typical “saying grace” and I much prefer it because it allows us the opportunity to thank everyone involved in giving us food.
  5. We practice table manners. My kids are finally at the age where they need to be taught table manners, like holding their silverware properly and wiping their faces with their napkins and not their t-shirts.

The other part of simplifying mealtime [also found in Simplicity Parenting] is simplifying food for your kids. It’s been a few years since I began our family practice of eating [nearly] zero processed foods, and I feel like that simplification has made tremendous improvements to our health and our energy and our overall well-being [not to mention our finances].

To read more about how we simplify our food, here are some of my blog posts about our food choices:

One Month of [Nearly] Zero Processed Foods

Dinner Doesn’t Have to Be Fancy

[Nearly] Zero Waste Kitchen: Vegetable Soup

A Week of My [Nearly] Vegetable Only Diet

Happy eating!

🍽

Karis

September Shopping Audit [and my birthday party fail]

September Shopping Audit [and my birthday party fail]

September was supposed to be the month that we revised the budget to reflect our new income; however, our income continues to fluctuate, as does our spending. Despite a lack of strict regulation, we still aren’t spending very much because we have effectively made ourselves into “savers” rather than spenders. In fact, over the course of September, the combined total of money we saved, invested, and gave away was significantly greater than what we spent – even including our bills.

On a reduced income, I’d say that’s pretty good!

Also in September, I participated in Charity: Water’s September Campaign [raising money to get clean water to 20k people in Mali] and raised over $1,000 in addition to the $200 that I donated toward the cause. I am planning a larger campaign of my own to raise money for Charity:Water starting in January.

That, my friends, is where the good news ends. We had car trouble [tire trouble, more specifically] which cost us $575.24!!! We bought two books for my father-in-law’s birthday for $37.48 and I bought several books for my kids about religions and mythology that I couldn’t find at the library for $77.97 [these books were obviously SUPER important to me because I haven’t bought a book – other than as a gift – in over three years]. I bought a pair of used black pants for work from Goodwill for $7.00, which have turned out to be my favorite pair of pants EVER [now, that’s $7 well spent!].

But the real trouble started when it was time to get a gift for my daughter’s third birthday. Per our gift policy, Brett and I found a beautiful Mickey Mouse racetrack used for $30, and I planned to take my older two kids to Goodwill to pick out their own gifts for their sister. The night before her birthday we waited for Josephine to go to bed and then snuck out of the house to go shopping. Unfortunately, Goodwill has shorter hours than I realized [thanks, COVID!], so it – and all the other resale shops – were closed for the night.

Out of desperation, I took the kids to Walgreens [because it was in the Goodwill parking lot] and they each picked out a gift for their sister.

🤷‍♀️

Sometimes I have to bend my own rules.

The incredibly cheap [and basically worthless] walkie-talkies that Theo picked out and the plastic tea set that Evangeline chose were the first brand-new toys that we have purchased in three years. I was very nearly depressed about it – especially seeing all that plastic upon plastic wrapped in plastic entering my home – but the next morning, Josephine was so excited to see her racetrack and open her gifts from her siblings.

It made the whole thing [almost] worth it.

Josephine painting with the new paint sticks she received from her Aunt Amber [and cousins] for her birthday.

🎁 🎁 🎁

Karis

Lessons in Motherhood and Handling Stress

Lessons in Motherhood and Handling Stress

I used to think that I handle stress well, but now I realize that I’ve actually never been really stressed out before. Come to think of it, I remember that sick-to-my-stomach stressed feeling when I was in junior high and had procrastinated a big project until the night before the due date – but I only experienced it once because I vowed to never do that again. I HATED that feeling so much that I did all of my school work weeks in advance for the rest of my education. I am not kidding.

So it turns out that I handle stress fantastically – if by “handle,” I mean “avoid.”

But when it comes to adulting – and especially mothering – some stressors are unavoidable. And the past five months, with a pandemic raging and lay-offs and new jobs and going back to college and homeschooling my kids and a death in the family, I have been SUPER STRESSED. I didn’t even realize it until I went all day long without eating anything and I started shaking [probably more due to the lack of food than the stress] and having what might be described as a nervous breakdown.

At that point I knew I had to do something.

So, I handed the reigns to my wonderful partner, Brett, who took over the dishes and the laundry and the baking and the grocery shopping and the cooking and…pretty much all of it.

Brett with three of our four kids [My oldest is the photographer]

It made me realize that sometimes the stress of motherhood and homemaking is a little bit self-imposed. I will be the first one to say that I don’t believe in any of that sexist bullshit about women being better caretakers and homemakers, but it didn’t at first occur to me to have him take over [ask him for help, sure, but I still had to be responsible for everything].

Well, all I had to do was let go and – turns out – Brett is AMAZING at doing all of these household tasks. He even brews my coffee and prepares breakfast for me to take to work every day [I leave the house at 3:30am]. He also bakes bread and makes OAT MILK. And for dinner one night last week, he made a mushroom galette [!!!] from scratch! I don’t know very many men who know what a galette IS let alone how to make one. And Brett doesn’t even like mushrooms.

[This is why I call our marriage a partnership – because it is not governed by the typical gender roles, but rather by what best serves the whole family. Right now, my family needs me to work and so Brett is doing the unpaid work of taking care of our home.]

So, what I’m basically saying is, Ladies, if you need some help, don’t be afraid to ask. And I know there are women out there without [romantic] partners, but that doesn’t mean you can’t ask someone for help! Don’t be so stressed that you stop eating [or eat everything in sight], when help is available.

We don’t have to do it all. This is the 21st century and we women have earned the right to get some help with the kids and the house and the job and whatever else – we just can’t be afraid to ask for it.

❤️ ❤️ ❤️

Karis

Carlson Coronavirus Update [and our trip to the zoo]

Carlson Coronavirus Update [and our trip to the zoo]

Life has changed A LOT since I last posted an update about my family. My partner was laid off at the end of last month. I am now working two additional part-time jobs [on top of personal training, which has been painfully slow due to everyone’s understandable hesitation to return to the gym]. I have officially withdrawn my daughter from the public school system and began plans to homeschool her and my son [who would be in preschool].

We are not moving now. At least, not until Brett finds a job – which may take us far away, or we may stay here. Who knows.

🤷‍♀️

This is a very strange time of uncertainty for my family, but I’m actually really excited. I’m excited about the opportunity to work more away from home [stay-at-home momming was never my calling]. I’m excited about the possibility of moving to a new place. I’m excited about teaching my kids at home with a hands-on, literature-focused approach that you just can’t find in a traditional classroom. And I’m excited about all of the time we’ve been able to spend as a family enjoying the sunshine this summer.

We even went to the zoo yesterday, which was so strange with everyone in masks and all of the pathways marked with one-way arrows – but the animals were totally oblivious to how crazy our world has become.

Because masks were required at the zoo, I had to make masks for the whole family. I used some old clothes that I had been hanging onto as scrap materials and my little $20 portable sewing machine. Despite that [and my total lack of sewing experience], I think they turned out pretty well. I put it off for a long time, but since the mask era is most likely here to stay for a while and I can’t keep my kids at home forever, I finally got it done.

😷

Anyway, I primarily wanted to let you know that I will not be posting very frequently for a little while as I transition into my new jobs [one of them is from 3-9am] and plan for homeschooling [which I intend to start mid August].

I still need to post my Q2 book reviews [I read some AMAZING books] and a series of simplicity parenting posts and a motherhood post about STRESS.

😜

I hope you and all of your loved ones are healthy and well and enjoying this summer – despite everything that is happening around the world.

☀️ ☀️ ☀️

Karis

June Shopping Audit [and the 50/50 rule]

June Shopping Audit [and the 50/50 rule]

I’m curious: If your job or finances were not negatively impacted by the Coronavirus and you received a relief check from the government, what did you do with it?

Though my partner and I have been furloughed since March and he was actually just let go, we have not been struggling financially. We live very frugally to begin with, we have no debt payments outside our mortgage, and we have always lived well below our income anyway, so our unemployment checks have been sufficient. Plus, we have always kept an “emergency” fund – though not expecting a world-wide pandemic that would wreck our economy and cost Brett his job – so we are surprisingly prepared.

As a result, we didn’t need the relief check that the government sent us and I felt bad keeping it. I wanted to give it away to help people who truly are struggling financially right now, but Brett felt that it would be best to save it for the future in the event that the pandemic drags on or [rightly predicting] he loses his job and has to find a new one.

There is virtue in both options, so how do we choose?

50/50 Rule

Because my partner and I can’t agree, we’ve settled on a 50/50 rule for all additional/unexpected income: 50% to give away and 50% to save for retirement and the kids through our investment accounts.

We have a modest budget which includes all of our bills [mortgage, utilities, internet, phones, water softener, and trash pickup], our necessities [food, toiletries, medical expenses, house maintenance, and pet supplies], some fun stuff [fun money for Brett and I and the family in general, dining out money, and Netflix subscription], and charitable donations [we sponsor three children and give monthly to charity:water]. Whatever income is leftover after these expenses, is considered “additional income” and gets divided between charitable giving and investing.

Before COVID hit, we had roughly $800 of extra income each month, so we have been typically giving away $400 and investing $400. However, since March, we have been bringing in less money, so we have had less to give away. But we did give away what we had, in addition to half of our relief check.

The Ethical Obligation to Give

A few months ago, I read the book The Life You Can Save by Peter Singer, which confirmed what I already believed to be true – that we are morally and ethically obligated to share our wealth with people in need. This pretty much goes against the American ideals of capitalism and independence, which teach us to take care of ourselves first and that our wealth is for us to enjoy because we “earned it.”

The teachings of Jesus are pretty much the exact opposite of the American mindset, which is why it is so surprising to me that America wants to believe itself to be a “Christian nation.”

Regardless, we decided several years ago that we would prioritize giving, rather than giving out of our excess after we had spoiled ourselves and achieved the American standard of living. We made giving a big part of our budget AND intentionally reduced our budget so that we could give more away. And now, thanks to COVID, we have had even more to give than ever before – over $4,000 in the last two months.

Anyway, I share all this to say that giving has a way of changing my perspective from inward to outward. Rather than thinking of all the things that I want or need or could use, I am often thinking about the families without clean water, the children without vaccines, the girls without an education, the half a billion people on this planet living in extreme poverty. So, when it comes to not buying stuff for myself, I’m not sharing this from a place of self-pity. It is a privilege to be able to live a life of ease and luxury and still be able to give so much money away.

So, here’s the shopping audit for June:

What We Bought

Once again, this is only physical purchases outside of consumables like food, gas, toilet paper and salt blocks.

Headphones and cell charger ($116.00): For Father’s Day, I gave Brett a gift card to buy a pair of headphones. We both run a lot and we’ve been sharing headphones since he bought me a pair. We also needed a new cell charger because ours stopped working [does anyone else have this problem???]

New hose for van ($55.49): Our van was leaking something from somewhere [you’ll have to ask my partner for specifics], so Brett bought a part that was needed and replaced it himself.

Gift card for Evangeline’s teacher ($25.00): I wouldn’t have ordinarily given something as impersonal as a gift card to her teacher, but given the circumstances, I thought this was the easiest and probably most preferred option.

House maintenance ($200.00): We finished several house projects this month, including the french drain which required ordering $130 worth of gravel.

Total: $396.49

Over-budget: $0 [We only have a $25 gift budget, but I had accumulated enough fun money over the months of quarantine to pay for Brett’s Father’s Day gift.]

What We Are Going to Do With It

I’m proud of how we did this month because we only bought two things that were “wants” and the rest were “needs” [and one gift]. We will get plenty of use out of the headphones and cell charger and recycle them with electronics when we are done with them.

What We Gave Away

We have a stack of maybe 10 things from our home to donate this month – some baby clothes, a lunchbox, some board games. I completely forgot to gather thirty items this month. Next month I will have to make up for it.

Our future has become more uncertain than ever now that Brett has been laid off, which makes our careful spending habits even more important than ever. But being at the start of something new is also exciting! We are looking forward to the next adventure.

🛍 🛍 🛍

Karis

2020 Resolutions [Mid-Year Update]

2020 Resolutions [Mid-Year Update]

On January 1st, I posted my list of resolutions for 2020 here. Time for my mid-year update.

As everyone already knows, this has been the strangest year EVER. When COVID first hit, I thought I would have to throw all of my resolutions out of the window [and I did for most of them], but as time has gone on, I’ve realized that some may require some tweaking and some may have to be postponed until next year, others I can still accomplish.

I love going back to review my goals and check my progress. It is a review of all the dreams I had for this year and a reminder to keep working toward them, even if there is a world-wide pandemic trying to derail them.

[And its fun along the way to provide a bunch of motivational quotes!]

New Skill: learn Spanish Estudio Espanol de Duolingo todos los dias. I study Spanish on Duolingo every day. I currently have a 170 [ciento setenta] day streak going, which I fully intend to continue [seguir] until I complete the entire Spanish course [curso de espanol]. Despite being a free app and probably not as rigorous as other options, yo aprendi mucho espanol de seis meses de duolingo.

Health: run a marathon, swim regularly, improve flexibility

  • Marathon: I won’t be running a marathon since all races are on hold indefinitely [I could do a virtual run, but they are not very motivating for me] but I am still running regularly and building up my miles.
  • Swimming: I couldn’t swim since my gym [and all public pools] have been closed. Hopefully they will reopen and I can swim again. This is definitely something to work on in the second half of the year.
  • Flexibility: On the bright side, I’ve been able to do a lot more yoga and stretching and my flexibility has already improved.

Personal: go back to school for nursing, pursue kidney donation, volunteer regularly Check, Check, and check. Well, sorta.

  • Nursing school: I have applied to my community college in order to get started on my pre-requisites for a nursing program. I don’t know how I will pay for it, but I am confident that it will all work out. We have a commitment to give 50% of our extra money away, so going back to school is last on our priority list, but I should be able to at least take a class or two each semester.
  • Kidney donation: In February, I submitted my living kidney donor health questionnaire and was “pre-approved,” but now I am waiting on some issues with the recipient. Now that transplants are once again happening, I hope that I will hear from them soon.
  • Volunteering: I have [finally] signed up to volunteer at the local food bank once a week for the month of July. So long as I am able, I hope to continue volunteering and maybe even adding an additional volunteer position with an organization that supports underprivileged kids.

Blog: improve blog design and function, organize and categorize posts I am still working on this. I am not blog-savvy so this is tough for me to sit and dedicate my time to, but I do have a redesign in mind, including a logo that I created myself. I will try to get this done in the second half of the year.

Family: establish family mealtime routine and guidelines, take international trip with Brett Well, the international trip is definitely out, but all this extra family time has allowed us to create a simple and functional mealtime routine AND begin teaching our kids mealtime manners. I was planning to write about this area of simplifying this past month, but I felt the urgent need to address the racism issues I wrote about.

Minimalism: minimalist game in January, remove 30 unused items per month, log all [non-consumable] purchases Check, check, and check. I am still logging purchases and removing stuff from my home. Next week I will post my June Shopping Audit.

Environmentalism: buy milk in glass, switch to safety razor, wooden dish brushes, straw broom We have been buying milk in glass bottles [other than a brief COVID freakout/stock-up] this year and – SURPRISE! – we haven’t gone broke. I haven’t switched to safety razors, wooden dish brushes, or a straw broom yet because what we have right now still functions perfectly and I don’t think I will continue to use what we have until it needs to be replace and then I will choose a more environmentally friendly option.

Humanitarianism: donate more money this year, sponsor another child, commission quilts for donation We have definitely donated more money this year – mostly because we gave away half of our government relief check and half of my unemployment checks. We also began sponsoring a third child [I plan to write about child sponsorship in the future] and doubled our monthly donation to the organization Charity:Water. In past years, we have purchased quilts from a friend of mine to donate to the organization Quilts Beyond Borders, however, this year she has struggled with health problems and so we made a monetary donation instead.

And that’s it! Not too bad!

Looking forward to a productive [and less crazy] second half of the year!

🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

Karis